Rape & Society

No one asks to be raped, assault, or harassed or even robbed. 

Feminists & others say that regardless of what we wear or what we do, no one should be raped or assaulted. Agreed. This is obvious.  However, what we fail to recognise is the fact that there are people out there who will rape & harass, assault & steal, despite education & knowing right-from-wrong.

Education to change views & society wide interventions may eradicate some but not all instances.  I agree, that more education & awareness campaigns needs to occur, especially in the realm of date rape & understanding what exactly consent entails.  However, until these measures start gaining results or at least have a wider awareness through our society, it is naive to think that this will not happen.

Those who are or potentially are guilty of these crimes should know 100% what they are doing is wrong

Fact is, to a certain degree, we do need to dress a certain way to avoid leering & sexually based comments.  I feel that if you show tonnes of cleavage & wear tiny skirts, you are (to a certain extent) warranting attention of the sexual kind.  It is definitely not a signal to the world that you want to be raped or you're "up for it" however it is naive to think this will portray an asexual image of you & you will not be at least leered at.  

I like to go out, I like to explore new places, even going out at night.  However, it is naive to think that I will be safe walking through places like Hyde Park or a street in Redfern alone at night.  There are countries that it is unsafe to go to due to domestic conflict, it is naive to think that you can hold your own & walk down a street in Syria or Afghanistan without the potential of being harmed.

It's not an excuse, these issues should not be issues for us & should not be happening in our society, however this is idealist & naive.


Referenced from:
http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/women-deserve-to-be-raped-20120917-260yt.html
http://www.madisonmag.com.au/assets/images/articles/blog/sexual-harassment_1.jpg
http://www.madisonmag.com.au/blogs/sexual-harassment-is-everyones-problem.htm

09/10/2012

P.S.

Its scary knowing that a few days after I wrote this that a Melbourne woman was raped & murdered on her way home from a night out.  Again, I'm not blaming the victim, I do this myself, however, it is naive to think that these things will never happen. Precautions should be taken & when travelling at night, alone as a woman.

... Spend a little time with ME.

There is a concept that my sister and I follow. Its called a "Me Day". A Me Day is when you plan to go off on your own and be your own best friend. It's liberating and can be quite an eye opener too.

I have had Me Days where I go off and explore a different part of Sydney.  I sometimes go off & have a coffee and read a book.  Some Me Days I go shopping, swim at the beach, watch a movie and I even travel by myself.

I have told many people that I often go to the cinema and see a movie by myself. Some people feel awkward, they feel sorry for me and some even say that I should call them if I am going solo. I figure that you dont really talk to someone during the movie and the only time you do interact with others is right before and right after the movie.

The first time I went to the movies by myself was on a Saturday night. It was terrifying and at the same time it taugh me a lot about myself, especially that no one really cares if you are alone at the movies and if they do see you alone, it only stays with them a few seconds.

I do sometimes feel self conscious eating by myself but it's nothing that a book or communal dining can't solve.

I'm travelling again in a few weeks ... yeah, sometimes I wish I could share my oohhhhs & ahhhs with someone else but travelling by myself pushes me to interact with more people.  I strike up conversations & often am motivated by the fact that I'll never see them again or they can blame me for being a tourist.

My biggest concern when travelling is who will take photos of me?

Hijabs and the Olympics

"Hijab outlawed: Saudi judo competitor refused permission to wear head scarf" (SMH 27/07/2012)

What should have been the article: Celebrating the fact that women for the first time are competing from Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and Qatar.
Instead ... we get this, fuelling sentiment that Hijabs are not welcome even on the international arena.

I understand that it is in relation to safety, but it's the way it is phrased and presented.
Why cant the Olympics be inclusive and allow her to wear what Cathy Freeman wore when she ran in 2000?

Some women go to great lengths to maintain their right to wear a Hijab and cover their head and then on the international stage for the Olympics there is no alternative? Must they choose either to expose their head or not participate? It's not very in the spirit of accepting all athletes to the Olympic Games!!

References:

http://www.smh.com.au/olympics/news-london-2012/hijab-outlawed-saudi-judo-competitor-refused-permission-to-wear-head-scarf-20120727-22we3.html

Drinking while Pregnant

The title of this article ... "I can't serve you.  You're pregnant" struck a chord with me.  A real conflict of values question... As a pregnant woman, can you be served alcohol?
If I was serving in a pub/restaurant, what is my duty in accordance with my RSA (Responsible Service of Alcohol)?  If I'm hosting a party, what is my responsibility to intervene if a woman is pregnant and requests a wine or spirit?

Is it straight forward as being black and white? No alcohol while you are pregnant?  What if its the odd drink for a celebration? Is an expectant mother free to drink as she chooses? It's a question of Freedom to act Vs Whats best for the baby (who doesn't have a say).

I can't really comment on the recent research or the current stance of various health departments, I haven't researched it. I know women are entitled to consume as they wish. They can even smoke while pregnant. (I guess the same question could be asked, as a pregnant woman, can you be served cigarettes?)

It's a bit of a conundrum ...


In a licensed establishment, I would probably refuse service. (I would also want to see what the premises policy is on serving pregnant women).  I know I may unknowingly serve a pregnant woman alcohol, but if i can see it, I probably won't serve her.  As to giving a friend a drink if she were pregnant? I would say something? Probably, but I would ultimately serve her. 

The F-Word at Work

I'm not one to use the F-word. It's quite a harsh sounding word and is somewhat uncivilised.  It's overused and since I've become an adult, it's become so common place to use it. Seriously, its EVERYWHERE.

I accept that people use it, I even laugh if it's in a joke, however, there are few instances when I think it is completely inappropriate to use. 

It's inappropriate to use it in the presence of children (so they don't learn your bad habits), when speaking with elder people (it's quite disrespectful) and at work.

Swearing at work is very unprofessional.  Some words could even be regarded as workplace harrassment, however I find that it is the F-word that people feel that they can get away with saying it within certain context.

To me, you don't get away with it. I remember those who use it at work and think that they're slightly less professional than the others.

Reference:http://www.hcamag.com/newsletter/content/140856/

Seats on Buses and Trains

I'm quite picky when it comes to who I sit next to on public transport.  That is, until its a choice of sitting versuss not sitting. 

I find myself drawn to sitting next to people who are reading or have a book. 

I'm not sure if it's an observation or it's now a self-fulfilling prophecy. However, It's occurring more and more and not just initiated by me, also by the other person who is taking their seat next to me.

Sometimes my neighbour will surprise me and will pull out their book half way through our journey.

Either way, look for us up the back.  We're the intellects on the bus reading.



Picture taken from:
http://www.acrilico.org/wp-content/busreading.jpg

Half-Mast for What?

I follow the news. I know what's generally going on locally and internationally. However, there are days when I feel that maybe I have been living under a rock.  My under-rock-living days include the majority of  times when I see the flags across Sydney's CBD at half-mast.

There has to be a way of communicating to people and informing them that this is why we are lowering our flags. A neon sign is tacky, but maybe a more tasteful sign?  Or have a section on the front page of newspapers? Maybe there is an app. for that?

There is nothing more frustrating when you want to know whats going on and google or SMH don't really help.




Photos taken from:
http://www.australianphotography.com/images/yafPhotoEntry/podImage300/0568%20half%20mast1.jpg