Awkward & Cliche Travelling

As a traveller, not only do I like to see the off-the-beaten-track stuff, but I also go to see the cliche post card places.  Eiffel Tower, Charles Bridge, London Eye, Sydney Opera House, Times Square.  Can you really say you have been to Paris if you haven't seen the Eiffel Tower?

Visiting the cliche places make me pinch myself.  I get a feeling of disbelief.  Am I actually there?

London - The Shard, The Eye and a Cab

The first 1 or 2 seconds of seeing the site is the OMG moment. Awe-struck, mouth agape, eyes are wide.  Realisation sets in that I am finally at that place, in that city.

When realisation settles in, I want to "scream and shout and let it all out".  It's like an explosion of happiness!!  I'm just so happy and just so cliche.  Everyone else around me is pretty much experiencing the same or has just finished experiencing the same.  All I can do is stare amongst the masses.  I am insignificant, surrounded by an insignificant crowd, watching and staring at the significant.

I don't know what to say apart from being cliche at the cliche.
"It's so much bigger than I thought"
"It's smaller than I thought"
"Wow, look how tall it is"
(Awkwardness generally sets in when you realise even your response is cliche staring at the cliche.)

I was on the Metro when I first saw the Eiffel Tower. It was beautiful, set a few kilometres away amongst the grey buildings, green trees. Picture postcard perfect and I feel that it easily could have been a scene from a movie.  Seeing the White House, it was small, much smaller than I thought, but then it was my perspective of seeing it from many metres away. 


Long after I have returned, watching TV or a movie, when I catch a glimpse of an iconic landmark that I have been to, I know that I have been but was it in a dream? I feel that I was transported into a postcard and was walking around it. 

Loch Ness - So beautiful, but my Nessie made it memorable!

The only time when the awkward and cliche doesn't work is when there is an anomaly or extraordinary event.  When the visit you make to that site, doesn't look like you''re walking through a brochure or movie. Either it is raining or something funny/memorable happens, that's when it is so much more real, it wasn't the perfect atmosphere but it was perfect for you at that time.





Photos taken from:
http://ak7.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/2614409/preview/stock-footage-aerial-view-of-the-city-of-paris-with-the-eiffel-tower-in-the-distance.jpg
The London Shard/Eye photo and Loch Ness photo were taken by myself earlier this year.

What Jackie Saw

A picture paints a thousand words, in this case, a series of photos.  It's been plastered all over our media this week.  The moments leading up to and immediately after President John F. Kennedy was shot. For many people this moment and this footage will be etched into our memory.
 

However, what sticks with me isn't necessarily picked up by the camera.  It is the sheer terror of what Jackie would have seen and gone through in the immediate seconds after her husband was shot.  You wouldn't  wish that on anyone.  From what we know of the extent of his injuries, there really would be no hope that he would have survived something like that and I guess at that time, so would have she.

One minute he is sitting there waving to passers-by, the next minute, he's keeled over, blood everywhere and a good chunk of his head is gone.  The car is still moving, there is no one immediately there to help. At the same time, it dawns on you that your own survival is at stake, so you try to escape over the back of the car.

The sheer terror of going through something like that.  To see body parts of a loved one that should be well hidden.  The conundrum of fight or flight.  Adrenaline kicking in with shock and wanting to know what has just happened?

It's a lovely day, of course a drive in a convertible is a good idea. You're with your husband, the American people are out to see their President.  Who would have thought what happened, happened.



Picture from: 
http://media.smithsonianmag.com/images/zapruder-jfk-assassination-631.jpg

Work 2.0

The concept of 'work' and the way our workplaces function is a construct invented by males.  Women initially joined the workforce and started paid work as a result of most males leaving to go to war.  It was hoped that the women could 'fill in' until the men came back.  When the men came back, a slight concession was made for women to be able to enter paid work until they were married. It wasn't till 1950's and 60's that women were embarking on a career for themselves.

Jumping forward to present day 2013, there is a push to have greater representation of women in organisations; on board of directors, in senior management and in typically male dominated industries such as engineering and transport.  The diversity agenda (in Australia) is firmly being pushed.

Knowing that women have only been active in the labour force for over 50 years and that women still experience a 17.5% inequality of pay, can women really be given a fair go in an environment that has been typically male dominated and designed?

What if we turned things up-side-down? What would 'work' and our 'workplaces' look like if we could re-do it?  What if it were up to women to redesign the way work would work?

Over the last few weeks I've given this a bit of thought.  Here are some of my ideas.

• Joint or job sharing CEOs (leading by example is the best way to make it seen as a norm)
• Fully decked out HUB offices opening up across the city (instead of just in CBD, Sydney has a number of areas where these could open)
• Flexible work arrangements for ALL employees  
• Extend school hours till 4pm and provide less homework (the hour in school makes up for the hour doing homework but also provides parents more time at work)
• Additional sick leave days provided to those over 50 (government funded)
• Typically female dominated professions are paid much higher, entice more males into those industries
• Weed out the idea of 'gender based professions' and what constitutes gender based activities. Young boys and girls should grow up equally wanting to be nurses, teachers, researchers as well as accountants and electricians.
• Bonus not tied (or completely tied) to individual performance but to the organisations performance
• Rewrite job descriptions - take out the fluff, make it easier to understand and also make it easier to work out; part time and job sharing programs
• Having suits (and ties for men) as dress code
• 24/7 access to offices/work spaces/Hubs
• Superannuation paid for all types of leave (including; parental and long service)
• 24/7 childcare facilities
• Childcare facilities are available in proportion to where employees are located
• Improved 2-way loyalty between employers and employees
• Centralised services (I.E. procurement, admin, payroll, tax, professional development advisers) for small to medium sized businesses.  No one wants to mitigate red tape when they should be growing their business
• Laptops not desktops, greater utilisation of software, social media, video conference and communication tools.
• Proper job-for person program for skilled migrants/people on 457 visas.  No point in them coming here if there is no job directly available to them.

Will some of these become a reality with the implementation of the National Broadband Network? Through greater numbers of women on boards and government? Technology such as Google Glass going mainstream? Who know what will happen, but keep watching, it's going to be well beyond the offices and cubicles we know!


References: 
1. http://www.womensagenda.com.au/talking-about/editor-s-agenda/re-imagine-work-could-you-make-it-better-work-for-you/201306072285?utm_source=Women%27s+Agenda+List&utm_campaign=04ac0fd79b-Mon+03%2F06%2F2013&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f3750bae8d-04ac0fd79b-30603413
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_the_workforce
3. http://www.hcamag.com/hr-news/looking-for-the-ideal-worker-time-to-wakeup-177367.aspx
4. http://www.womensagenda.com.au/talking-about/top-stories/the-cost-of-being-female-64-extra-days-at-work/201309022823#.Uih1pByUlpc.twitter

Where the Loyalty Lies

With the re-appointment of Kevin Rudd as Prime Minister, I slept well for the first time in 3 years and 3 days.  There is now a new hope for the Australian Labor Party (ALP) to climb back up the polls and possibly win the next election. (after ex-Prime Minister Julia Gillard stepped down and retires after losing yesterday's leadership ballot).

Now we all know the environment in parliament is quite different to the environment of our workplaces.  However, one thing that both parliament and our workplaces have in common is navigating that fine line of loyalty.  Our loyalty to the party, organisation or employer and loyalty to the leader, CEO or our manager.

Political loyalty over the last 24 hours has been raised many times (even more over the last 3 years!) and it was clear that some politicians really struggled with their decision on who should be leader of the ALP, thus becoming Prime Minister.

By nature of who we are and the psychology under which we operate, we humans are social and loyal creatures. We thrive in an environment surrounded by other like minded people. We all want to belong to something and by belonging to something, we want to pledge an allegiance and our loyalty to that person or group.  In the workplace, we ideally work for an organisation who mirrors our values, surrounded by similar thinking people, channeling the same values, vision and being a team player.

What the ALP party members faced yesterday was a tug-of-war in the loyalty games.  Either loyalty to the incumbent PM (their manager) or loyalty to the ALP (organisation, employer).
It was a choice of either; a) Stick with Julia Gillard, the present PM, someone who is good with her team but has alienated the public and may greatly lose seats in the election.  Or b) Vote for Kevin Rudd, ex PM who was disposed of 3 years ago, someone who may not be the best with their team but will have a greater chance to win around the public and not lose so many seats or even possibly win the election. Ultimately, it was also a choice in age old, 'flight or fight' - fight for a chance for the ALP and their own seat's survival or flight, flee reality and continue pledging loyalty to the then PM, Julia Gillard.

In today's ever changing workplaces, our loyalties are constantly being tested. Redundancies, downsizing, mergers and takeovers, no one is really secure where they are and in some professional environments and circumstances, the only person you can really count on is yourself.  There have been many times when I have demonstrated loyalty to the organisation and or to my managers. Many times, my loyalty did not really count for anything.  Regardless of my attitude, regardless of my hard working nature.  Unfortunately, it seems to me these days that loyalty counts when money and business doesn't, or at least when budgets are not that tight and jobs are not in jeopardy.

So what did we learn today?
We all want to be loyal, we all want to be part of something bigger and want to be surrounded by like minded people. However, when the times are tough and people are scared, we retreat and question what we need in the search for self-preservation.  In tough situations, we too would question our loyalty.  We also need to remember that where you place your loyalty can determine your own success or failure. It's no wonder that loyalty is not lauded as it once used to be.



Image from: 
http://images.smh.com.au/2013/06/27/4524205/spruddspeaks27-20130627121936747447-620x349.jpg

Life's about ...

Life's about the journey.
Screw the journey, life's about the destination.
Life is a many splendored thing.*
Life is like a box of chocolates.

I heard another one the other day, I think it's my new favourite.

Life isn't about the journey or the destination, "it's about the passengers you travel with".#

It's beautiful and it goes to the core of why we do things. It's why we have children, go travelling, go to work and even to go get a cup of coffee. It's why I (sometimes) choose public transport over driving, working in the library as opposed being at home and why I tweet/blog.

Life really is all about about the connections we make.  The people you know, what you share of yourself and what you allow others to share with you.

We meet people all the time, multiple times throughout the day.  Your coffee guy, the bus driver, acquaintances, colleagues, school friends, family friends, random forgot-how-we're-friends friends, your besties, BFFs, etc.

Not all these people you can call a friend.  Not all of them will have your back but they all cause some sort of impact on your life and have lead you to become the person who you are today.


References:
* It's really a song title, 'Love is a many splendored thing', that I took the liberty of.
# quote from a new ABC tv show called, "The Time of Our Lives"

Images:
http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/emjaysmith/emjaysmith1105/emjaysmith110500034/9497139-an-illustration-of-a-yellow-bus-full-of-passengers-and-luggage-going-through-beautiful-countryside-i.jpg

Anticipation of Happiness

We get so excited by upcoming events and activities.  That party we're going to, the new restaurant we're trying with friends or the trip planned for the long weekend.  However, there are times that we really look forward to something, but when it actually arrives, it's not all that it's cracked up to be.

I'm in the middle of reading the 'Happiness Project' and I came across this thought provoking sentence. It is the "anticipation of happiness that is sometimes greater than the happiness actually experienced" (Happiness Project, Rubin 2009).


In Alain De Botton's 'The Art of Travel', one of the messages of his book is a concept that we are happier thinking and planning our holiday or travel than actually living the reality of it. If my memory serves correctly, De Botton even goes to the extent of saying that we may as well stay in the comfort of our lounge room chairs as the anticipation of our upcoming travel is on the whole, more of a positive than the experience of the travel itself.  It is a bit of a gloomy, glass half-full way of looking at travel, but I see his point.

I myself love travelling and especially going overseas. The idea of exotic locations, languages and food is a huge source of excitement for me. I love planes, seeing them take off and land.  I get jumpy just being near the airport.  However, when I actually get to travel and I'm on the plane, I can't wait to get to my destination, to stretch my legs and to breath in natural air. Then there is the anxious wait to see if the luggage had arrived and is on the baggage claim carousel, there is navigating a different transport network, getting sick or a tummy bug from accidentally drinking the local tap water, dragging luggage over cobbled streets, etc, etc. 

Every year I look forward to my local book sale. I can't wait to stock up on some bargain basement priced books that will enlighten me and keep me entertained. I'm pumped and excited for the day to arrive.  Then the day comes, I get to the sale and rummage.  I don't mind rummaging for a few minutes or on tables, but there is a lot of rummaging in cardboard boxes, on the floor and under tables.  The hall is inevitably a dusty environment, I have to squat and/or bend to get to some of the boxes (in pursuit of getting my book-related eureka moments), I scan my eyes quickly over the hundreds of spines of books, packed in boxes that I can't see the covers of.

I leave the sale, yes, with some books, but I also leave slightly sniffley, eyes hurting, a back nearly broken and feet killing from all the standing around.  Am I happy? Yes, but I was also happy looking forward to the sale, talking about the sale and thinking about the possibilities of the sale. On the whole, both the anticipation of the sale and the result of the sale made me happy, however, 'actual and lived happiness' came with a few detractors.

Women and men who are expecting the birth of a child, look forward to their arrival. Is birth time sheer happiness? Well, from the women I've spoken to ... hell no, but it's the idea and anticipation of a child coming into the world that makes the parents happy.  The pain and suffering of childbirth has to be endured, it is reality and a part of the journey, not always pleasant and a fun time for all.

Of course people will still have babies, travel, eat out at restaurants and go to book sales.  It's just an interesting way to look at the fact that in the lead up to an anticipated happiness, it is pure happiness as opposed to living through that happiness which has its pleasures but also its fair share of negatives and frustrations.



References:
http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2011/02/my-first-splendid-truth-is-to-tackle-happiness-you-must-think-about-feeling-good-feeling-bad-and-feeling-right-in-an-atm/
http://www.alaindebotton.com/the_art_of_travel.asp

Picture from:
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2ppS66s5tBoz5mrp1U_lYK6k98Apr6F82L29g0Lo5kdnuiCkf

Hoarding & Collecting

"Hoarding is about keeping things inside."
This is what one lady says in the promo of the show 'Hoarders'. 

I collect all kinds of stuff.  Will need item xyz in the future as opposed to what I need in the present?  I store stuff for practical use as opposed to something that makes me happy. It's collected for the fact that I may use it later on & when I do really need it I will thank myself for saving it. 

I have stuff collected, gathering dust that most (if not any) people don't know about me. (My poor family that will uncover all the crap I have when I die!) 

But am I a collector or am I a hoarder?
It's not collecting it is hoarding.   It's hoarding from the stand point that it's not on display, I don't really talk about it & it's not something that makes me happy. A collector on the other hand is someone who accumulates things that interest them, converses about it & displays them.  For example a collector of stamps or owls or Ferrari's.

Here's my secret list of things I hoard. (gulp!)

• Sealy/Zip-lock bags - For travel, especially for flights
• Spare buttons (that you get with new clothes)
• Paper shopping bags

• Plastic bags
• Safety pins
• Travel brochures & Maps - They're glossy & pretty, from places I've been & where I'd like to travel to (which is everywhere, so yeah I have a shelf full of these)

• Book marks - I don't have 2, 3 or 4 but close to 20
• Post-it notes - They're pretty & the fact that it is stationery (that's another blog post!).
• Notebooks/ Exercise books- Mostly all blank with nice covers
• Fancy dress accessories (Someone please have a Hawaiian Luau party so I can wear my grass skirt and lei's!) 

I hoard.  I'm a hoarder.  I make excuses for what I hoard.  I just hope by disclosing my hoarding side it's a step in the right direction.  I'm taking ownership for my hoarding issue (problem) & it will allow me to start dealing with the fact that I don't really need these.  Will I ever wish that I held onto the 50 plastic bags I have instead of having just 1 or 2 spare?

 

 

 

 Images from; 

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1kQvS5UdH-O3h-T5Hpto8JIKW-eA8Cc5Tacvt_a2Q9BuRLiZ0sm0xH8IQuS_-Lf_zVhIKfKpojFxlsrIYiWB8wzfOhmP6TvEQc-nB1AQttE6yqcT546KWTxPVJfySbggMvcE0346pEC0/s1600/alg_shopping-bags.jpg 

http://rhodiadrive.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Old-Maps.jpg

 

Self Control & Delayed Information

You know that Marshmallow experiment? The one where the child is offered 1 marshmallow now or they can have 2 marshmallows in 15minutes time?  I always think that I will be able to hold out the 15min and be in control. It may be tempting as hell, but I'm pretty sure I could wait for a second marshmallow.

 What if the marshmallow is replaced? What if it is access to data? Or power/electricity?  Could you wait 15min to check your phone? I'm not so sure of that. I'm especially not so sure of that when I'm wanting to Tweet something or I'm waiting for a message from someone. It can be quite unbearable.  It can feel like we're in a black hole. 

While I was stuck in NYC during Sandy, there wasn't so much as a hunger for food,  it was more of a hunger to be connected and have access to power up our phones! It was more important to Tweet & Instagram the effects of a Hurricane than to ensure our neighbours were safe & that we had enough supply of food and drink!

In this day in age, we can't wait for anything. We're so dependant on our phones as entertainment or even as our 'iBFF'*. Yes, the data we have access to now is what we will have in 15min time, but in that 15min we may miss out on something important. FOMO - Fear Of Missing Out. That oh so funny meme or the breaking news. You want to be first with that news or at least get in early with a re-tweet or Pin or Facebook update. 

We want more & want more frequently.  We do more online shopping than ever, but what is the greatest negative of online shopping? It's that we have to wait for it to be shipped or mailed out.  Aghhhhh! This could take 7-10days.  Can we wait for this second marshmallow?  Well, we have to, but it's going to be mighty painful.  Mitigating this, there are now companies online that can coordinate and guarantee delivery of an item in 3 hours! This is even better than same day delivery!

If the marshmallow experiments were to take place again today, maybe the same results would have been found. However, today's marshmallow isn't necessarily a marshmallow. Could we leave an iPad on the table instead?




* iBFF - coined by Me. Feel free to let it catch on!

Reference:
Stanford Marshmallow Experiment by Walter Mischel - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment

Image from: 
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/11/02/article-1082430-025607E8000005DC-828_468x302.jpg

Inappropriate Sorry

"Sorry" doesn't always seem to be the hardest word*. Sorry seems to be quite an overused word.

The word Sorry has it's place in society.  The word Sorry is used when something is regrettable, unfortunate, sympathetic or tragic.

I've seen young women or the "good girls" (& "good boys") use the word sorry - but use it in a seemingly inappropriate way.  It tends to be used incorrectly used by those who are unassertive or those who don't want to ruin someones train of thought or when things take a tangent.  It's generally the unassertive, passive female who wants to be liked & takes on an "observer" status. I've come across this on multiple occasions especially in a professional capacity working in HR.

Sorry doesn't have a place when you feel that you're an inconvenience in a paid or professional situation.  Sorry doesn't have a place when you have a deadline & you need someone to deliver a piece of work. Sorry doesn't have a place when you need your leave (annual or other) signed off.

It's something I have been aware of when I talk or interact with others. I used to be guilty of it myself.

I will not be sorry for things that I need to get the job done. I'll ask politely but I will not be sorry that you didn't adhere to the timeline.
I will not be sorry for doing the awkward side-step when you come face-to-face with a stranger in your path. I'll smile & (eventually) move out of their way.
I will not be sorry for accessing a work related entitlements such as being paid fairly or have my leave signed off. I will ask politely, provide the necessary proof & be reasonable in my time frame for when it can be rectified.



References:
* Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word - Elton John
www.dictionary.com
http://www.thegrindstone.com/2012/10/11/career-management/apologizing-at-work-bad-369/

Rape & Society

No one asks to be raped, assault, or harassed or even robbed. 

Feminists & others say that regardless of what we wear or what we do, no one should be raped or assaulted. Agreed. This is obvious.  However, what we fail to recognise is the fact that there are people out there who will rape & harass, assault & steal, despite education & knowing right-from-wrong.

Education to change views & society wide interventions may eradicate some but not all instances.  I agree, that more education & awareness campaigns needs to occur, especially in the realm of date rape & understanding what exactly consent entails.  However, until these measures start gaining results or at least have a wider awareness through our society, it is naive to think that this will not happen.

Those who are or potentially are guilty of these crimes should know 100% what they are doing is wrong

Fact is, to a certain degree, we do need to dress a certain way to avoid leering & sexually based comments.  I feel that if you show tonnes of cleavage & wear tiny skirts, you are (to a certain extent) warranting attention of the sexual kind.  It is definitely not a signal to the world that you want to be raped or you're "up for it" however it is naive to think this will portray an asexual image of you & you will not be at least leered at.  

I like to go out, I like to explore new places, even going out at night.  However, it is naive to think that I will be safe walking through places like Hyde Park or a street in Redfern alone at night.  There are countries that it is unsafe to go to due to domestic conflict, it is naive to think that you can hold your own & walk down a street in Syria or Afghanistan without the potential of being harmed.

It's not an excuse, these issues should not be issues for us & should not be happening in our society, however this is idealist & naive.


Referenced from:
http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/women-deserve-to-be-raped-20120917-260yt.html
http://www.madisonmag.com.au/assets/images/articles/blog/sexual-harassment_1.jpg
http://www.madisonmag.com.au/blogs/sexual-harassment-is-everyones-problem.htm

09/10/2012

P.S.

Its scary knowing that a few days after I wrote this that a Melbourne woman was raped & murdered on her way home from a night out.  Again, I'm not blaming the victim, I do this myself, however, it is naive to think that these things will never happen. Precautions should be taken & when travelling at night, alone as a woman.

... Spend a little time with ME.

There is a concept that my sister and I follow. Its called a "Me Day". A Me Day is when you plan to go off on your own and be your own best friend. It's liberating and can be quite an eye opener too.

I have had Me Days where I go off and explore a different part of Sydney.  I sometimes go off & have a coffee and read a book.  Some Me Days I go shopping, swim at the beach, watch a movie and I even travel by myself.

I have told many people that I often go to the cinema and see a movie by myself. Some people feel awkward, they feel sorry for me and some even say that I should call them if I am going solo. I figure that you dont really talk to someone during the movie and the only time you do interact with others is right before and right after the movie.

The first time I went to the movies by myself was on a Saturday night. It was terrifying and at the same time it taugh me a lot about myself, especially that no one really cares if you are alone at the movies and if they do see you alone, it only stays with them a few seconds.

I do sometimes feel self conscious eating by myself but it's nothing that a book or communal dining can't solve.

I'm travelling again in a few weeks ... yeah, sometimes I wish I could share my oohhhhs & ahhhs with someone else but travelling by myself pushes me to interact with more people.  I strike up conversations & often am motivated by the fact that I'll never see them again or they can blame me for being a tourist.

My biggest concern when travelling is who will take photos of me?

The F-Word at Work

I'm not one to use the F-word. It's quite a harsh sounding word and is somewhat uncivilised.  It's overused and since I've become an adult, it's become so common place to use it. Seriously, its EVERYWHERE.

I accept that people use it, I even laugh if it's in a joke, however, there are few instances when I think it is completely inappropriate to use. 

It's inappropriate to use it in the presence of children (so they don't learn your bad habits), when speaking with elder people (it's quite disrespectful) and at work.

Swearing at work is very unprofessional.  Some words could even be regarded as workplace harrassment, however I find that it is the F-word that people feel that they can get away with saying it within certain context.

To me, you don't get away with it. I remember those who use it at work and think that they're slightly less professional than the others.

Reference:http://www.hcamag.com/newsletter/content/140856/

Ball in my Court

In relationships, (from the little I know) I realised that sometimes when the ball is in my court, the ball is not where I really want it & sometimes, if given the choice, I wouldn't have the ball in my court at all.

I just moved the ball from out of my court & I cannot tell you how much more peaceful & less stressed I feel. 

In the lead up to it, I was umm'ing & ahh'ing what should I do? Should I do it now? Do it later? ... Tomorrow?

Now that the ball is out of my court, I know that whatever the reaction is I'm going to be comfortable & at peace.

Maybe its a mixture of not procrastinating, making a decision or not having to worry about something 'to-do' as it's done.  Either way, a weight has been lifted, the ball has been returned & now I feel that I can move on.




Picture taken from:
http://www.sxc.hu/pic/m/g/ga/gabetarian/530894_tennis_ball_on_court.jpg

Going Solo

Trend has it, that over time, more & more Australians (even around the world) will be living alone. Winners will be those who cater for the single dweller in the house & those who go out & about, alone.

Recently, I was in Melbourne & the name of this trendy restaurant kept popping up. It initially caught my attention as it was mentioned to cater to the solo traveller. (which was me!) It's hard walking into a place & asking for a table for one, even harder walking in to a place that's super trendy and full of people.

So I walked into Cumulus Inc.
I was seated at one of the bars, food portions were scaled back to suite the solo dinner, the wait staff were attentive, a little chatty & they gave me a copy of their cookbook to flip through.

Great food & great experience ... can't wait to get enough nerve to walk into another cool place.
It's hard but glad I did it.

Art-y Farty

I went to public school, I was never really exposed to art unless it was through my parents & more through my father.
My first trip to see an art exhibition was to see the Turner exhibition in Canberra.

Lots of pastels, big old-school nautical ships and assorted watercolours. To 10 year old .... boring but also a bit of a novelty (the audio phone part before mobile phones).

Flashing forward to last weekend, I was in Canberra to see the Renaissance exhibition. A highly publicised exhibition displaying the works of Raphael, Botticelli & some others.  It was good, not as vast & diverse as I thought but glad that I saw it. 

Going to Canberra "to see the art" got me thinking, when did I start to appreciate art? And more importantly ... am I forging a hobby in art snobbery?  (But then why else would you go to Canberra?)

Recent exhibitions I have been to were the Masterpieces from Paris, Van Gough, Turner to Monet. I've also been to the Rijksmuseum, The National Art Centre in Tokyo, the Van Gough Museum.  A lot of my art appreciation came from travelling however, its also the colours, vibrancy and at times the sheer scale of some of the canvases.

You can tell that I'm a Van Gough/Monet girl. I can't describe it too well, but its just the colours and seeing the world through a delicate lens.  It also helps that the bulk of the paintings are inspired by France and French lifestyle.

One of the clinchers for appreciating art is when you "get it" or it amazes you or you want to be a character or in the painting.  I felt that when I first really looked at Klimt's The Kiss.   It's the stuff fairytales are made of - as a romantic female, I wanted to be that woman.

However, I also get that feeling when I see the big blockbuster art pieces like Monet's Waterlilies or Da Vinci's Mona Lisa & you want to pinch yourself. You can't believe you're seeing this major piece of art with your own eyes.   It makes you awe struck. It makes you feel insignificant.  It makes you want to buy the $10 version in the gift shop & decorate your walls with it.


Images taken from:
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTF0HQGP1LamMjZSe71X6a5pBMESahy7V2PxO_AeW_bl9f3amBhQA
http://marionblackburn.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/VanGoghBranchesAlmondTree.jpg
http://www.artchive.com/artchive/k/klimt/kiss.jpg

Hindsight or Regret?

Isn't hindsight funny?
It makes you think that if you had a take 2, things could have gone better.

I know, I have been a bit AWOL recently. I'm back though.
My absence has given me a bit of clarity about a few things, particularly about what you would change if you could do it again.

Do I have any regrets? Maybe, yeah.   I wish I called XYZ more often or that I told ABC that I loved them more. But ... is that really a regret? Isn't that just a misalignment in my priorities? I try to enjoy everyday, to live in the moment (with few looks in the rear and a few more to the front).  Should I fault my life or live with regret? No. The choices were mine, I take responsibility.  Would I change things from here on in? Well, yeah - in whatever way is sustainable.

Of course it is the relationships you have with people that matter & of course, you will always wish you spent more time with them or appreciated them more when they were around.  We're all here for a finite period. We have to make it count and learn from our mistakes.  We can't spend 24/7 with someone, we'll neglect someone else, even if that person is ourself.

If I had my take 2 on certain things, I don't know if I would actually do anything too different. There are things I could handle better second time around but then I may want a third of fourth go of it and inertia would inevitably set it.  However, what I need to do is to keep going. Learn the lessons quick, apply what you can. Live life, don't wish what could be or should be and remember the good, happy times - they're what you take away from most things anyway.

Connections

Nokia had it right. Connecting people.
What makes me happiest are the connections I form with people. Meaningful connections, fleeting connections, a connection over a laugh.


It's the connections I make with people are what makes me get out of bed in the morning. It's why I enjoy going to work, it's why I sometimes take a sneaky long lunch.

It's fusing bonds with people - understanding them better. By understanding people better, you get to understand yourself better.

Getting drunk & disorderly, being Face book friends, going to so&so's party cos xyz is there doesn't cut it.

I had a long chat with someone from work today. The deeper connection I made with them today made up for all the little annoyances during the day to make it a good day. 
Our differences were not exposed, only the similarities were highlighted.



Photo taken from:
http://www.evolutionminute.com/00-adamgod-lg.jpg

Maturity

I’ve had an Oprah, Ah-Ha moment over the last few weeks. I’ve realised, I’m not 23 anymore.  I actually turn 30 this year and it does make me wince a bit. (I choose 23 as it’s the first full year out of university and into the world).

I’ve been an adult now for well over a decade and still don’t view myself as how old I really am.
Yes! The years just seem to pass by so quickly.  I still get a massive smile on my face when the ice cream van drive’s by.

But yes, I need to realise I’m not fresh out of uni any more. I’m not a grad. and I’m not the youngest in the company/department/team.  I don’t need as much guidance, I can do things on my own, I don’t want to be boxed in ... However, the irony is I do still want it at the same time. Maybe it’s some sort of transitional phase where I am (hesitatingly) realising my contribution & am averse to the risk is in making errors or mistakes.

I want credibility, I want to be working on important projects and make bigger decisions. However, who would give this to someone who sees themselves as 23? Someone who doesn’t want too much responsibility but wants the perks?

I see myself a fast learner but what am I really learning?  How am I adding value? What am I doing in life that is mature? Can I even ask that? Does making a massive purchase like a car or house make me mature? What about having kids? Does that bring out maturity in people?

These are the phases people go through when they learn something. 
I guess I'm still learning about life. 

Novice
Advanced Beginner
Competent
Proficient
Expert

Hmmm, I'm sure I am competent but when all the doubts and questions enter my head, I want to say advanced beginner.

I need to be ... more mature. I need to up my game. I need to ... BRING IT ON.

Ladies in Heels

I have a philosophy about ladies shoes.
If I can walk in them normally, I can wear them.

I objectively try on shoes & go through the checklist of walkability, stylishness, confidence etc.  I know what brands are good for work, I know which of my shoes are good for weekends, I know which shoes to only wear if I'm being driven & walking is minimal.

I don't wear sneakers to work, I wear dark canvas Dunlops or comfy ballet shoes.When I'm out for the night for a few drinks, I wear heels but I make sure I know where we are going so the shoes suit the location.  I try to ensure that they are comfy or I catch cabs.

I don't stomp, shuffle or walk like a new born horse. 

It's not sexy & you loose the allure of confidence. 

It's amazing how many women will wear a KILLER pair of heels or boots.



Photos from:
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/fashion/uk-teens-taught-to-wear-high-heels-20100609-xwjg.html
http://www.saratoga.com/horse-racing-blog/2009/07/racing-101-it-takes-a-village-getting-a-horse-to-the-track-part-1.html

Diversity on TV

On Q&A last week (Monday 20th June, ABC) Josh Thomas made an interesting statement.
He said that by watching reality TV, he got an insight into who other people are. He even mentioned that growing up where he did, the first Muslim he got to know/see was via TV.

I wonder what he was watching ... it’s all well and good if the commercial TV networks actually put someone on TV who is NOT your stereotypical: middle income, Anglo-Saxon who conforms to societies ways.

Apart from SBS (and at times the ABC), pretty much all other channels conform to this stereotypical image of what Australians should look like. That is ... apart from the 'token' person.  When we view American & British TV, there is a bit more diversity but our diversity highs are when the commercial channels televise a comedy festival!

There are some really interesting people on TV,  I don't want to define people by their race but surely we can make more dramas or comedies with a reflection of who 'Australians' really are.