Saturday, March 6, 2010

Why I'm not "Just do(ing) It"

Do you ever feel that you want it all?
That you want to do everything and that you aim to do it all within a small period of time and then ..... reality and the everyday mundane-ness hits you?
Wake, work, home, sleep.  Wake, work, home, sleep.

I long to do something more with my time but when I get home, the last thing I want to do is to sit infront of my laptop again.  I want to do x,y & z but sitting on my butt watching tv seems like the better option.  Thankfully my weekends don't end up like that, but I always find myself allocating down time on the weekend too.

Is this really the life I want? No. Is this how I see myself accomplishing what I want from my private life? No.
Why do I do it? Why does it seem like the best option? Why is pizza and wine better than an big night out with drinking and partying? Why don't I take up some mid-week hobby like I want to? (and keep telling myself.)

Yes I am lazy, but maybe its something more?  I want to do more sailing, start Toastmasters ... its the first few steps into the unknown. That is why I have not done it.  Its speaking to people I dont know and establishing a rapport with them - something I am uncomfortable with. Why do I priortise going to the gym more than that? Its because its familiar and the safer, risk-free option.

I feel I live so much of my life in the safer, risk-free area.  Once in a while I will push and rebel against it, but somehow I will end up in that place again. I will do something totally out of the ordinary, move halfway across the world, but who's ordinary is it?  Am I just benchmarking myself against other people and not bechmarking me against myself?

1 comment:

Denise Duffield-Thomas said...

It depends on where you are in your cycle of growth - sometimes we just feel like hibernating for a while, don't beat yourself up over it.

Everyone's standards ARE different but if you feel like you should and could be doing more - just try one new thing this month. Commit to going with a friend, so you don't bail.